So….. as we enter the forth week of lockdown, with no end in sight, pressure in the home is increasing and everything is becoming more intense. Don’t panic, it is completely natural to feel more stressed and irritable than usual, the lockdown situation is putting strain on most relationships, in one way or another. Before this was implemented, you and your partner both had your own time and space, be it at work, with friends or the gym or whatever hobbies you may have had. Then you would come home and have a couple of hours together time. However, now you are both confined in the house and forced to spend more time together than ever before. And lets face it, it is very easy to become annoyed and stressed when you are not used to spending so much time with someone. Remember, although, I refer to your partner, this is relevant and can be applied to all relationships, with whoever you share your home with, inc flatmates.
Communication: This is a new and challenging situation for everyone, even as individuals, the loss of routine, feeling stressed about work, money and everything else around you that you don’t have any control over. It is important to communicate now more than ever to your partner, don’t assume they are feeling the same about this situation as you, we all deal with things differently and that’s OK. When talking to you partner express your own feelings, take ownership of how you feel, for example say ‘I feel’ not ‘you make me feel’ blaming your partner will not get you anywhere. Although it is normal to expect tension at this time, it is not an excuse to start casting up other ongoing issues within the relationship, choose your battles wisely and don’t argue over every little thing.
Create Space: It is important to create space, even though you may feel like you have none. Regardless of your situation at home you need breathing space to spend some time on your own, it may be the garden, your bedroom or even soaking in the bath. Wherever you can make space within your home, allow yourself some ‘you time’ for at least 30 minutes each day, use the time to reflect, to meditate, read, do whatever you wish to help you relax. This will help mange your stress.
Working from Home: If your working from home, try to set up an something so you have a designated working area, granted this may be difficult depending on the size of your home etc but it is important to try and keep as much separation between your work space and home life as you can. Discuss this with your partner so there are boundaries to this area when you are working, which will allow you to get on with what you need to and then come together for breaks or in the evenings. You must try and keep a routine as best you can, get up, get dressed, have tea breaks etc. Even though you are spending all day together, you still need to have intimacy, so make time for date night or quality time, find a common interest or even a new Netflix show you can both enjoy.
Do you have children? If you do and they are now at home, again it is important to establish a routine, children work better to a routine. So, get up, get dressed and do some sort of exercise. If you can, use this time to reconnect, teach them basics, cooking, arts and crafts, play games, its an opportunity to spend some quality time with them. Everyone had mixed opinions on the home schooling, my advice would be do what you feel most comfortable with, there is no point stressing you or your child(ren) out during this time. So do as much as you can, remember you are not a teacher and no one is expecting you to be. This is a confusing time for children and they are watching how you cope with it. So give them fond memories to look back on.
Do you live apart from your partner? If you and your partner are not staying together, it is understandable that you will be missing them, however, we are so lucky to live in a time where we have the technology which allows us to be in contact with our loved ones every day using text and video calling. Still set time for each other, Facetime, Whatapp or Zoom are all apps that allow you to still see your partner, have a virtual date. OK, so its not ideal, however, we are all trying to make the best out of this situation so for the time being it is better than nothing. Remember this is not going to last forever, you will be able to see your loved ones again.
It is strange times and family dynamics have undoubtedly changed, but if you can, then try and use this to reconnect and create happier relationships, treat those around you and yourself with kindness and compassion and be grateful for the small things.
JulieAnn Wellness Therapies 