Well, its almost a year from the first lockdown began. Some people have been working from home the entire time, whilst some have been on and off, depending on restrictions. Whatever your circumstances have been, it has without a doubt, been a difficult year for many couples.
But how have you found working from home? This question gets a very mixed response of answers. If you have both been working from home, have you set boundaries and stuck to routines? The couples who have found it easier are the ones who have communicated the best, explained and listened to what the other needs to do their work and get through their day. Of course, its not always as simple as that, all relationships have different factors to take into consideration which can all cause additional stress. i.e. depending on size of your home for creating separate work spaces, children requiring caring for or home schooling, not to mention the increased housework, since everyone is now at home more than ever.
You may think it would be easier if one of you could be out at work while the other works from home. However, this comes with its own stresses. For example, if you are working from home and therefore in the house all day, often the housework or the care of the children will fall on you. Which may have caused some conflict between you and your partner, another issue is that once you have gotten through your day, you will no doubt want out of the house and go for your daily walk. But your partner, who has been out at work all day, may want to come home and sit on the sofa and relax, happy to be home. Again, I understand that these seem trivial things in normal circumstances but these are not normal circumstances and disagreements, tensions and cracks are appearing where they never used to be.
Now….. you may be wondering why I’m writing an article on the stresses of working from home now, when we appear to be through the worst of it and there is some normality in sight.
Well……. for a few reasons.
Firstly, I wanted you to read this and realise that you are not the only person or couple to have had these problems. Just because new tensions have appeared, does not mean your relationship is doomed. Yes, you may have seen a different side to your partner, husband and wife and maybe even to your friends and family. But remember all relationships have been tested, its how you have dealt with the stresses that matter. As I’ve said in many of my previous articles, communication is key, it is vital to not only talk to your partner about how you feel but also to listen to how they are feeling.
Secondly, some employers have seen the benefits of home working and may wish to continue this. If this is the case for you or your partner, then you both need to talk about how this will effect your home life and your relationship. Create a routine for the housework, collecting of the children or walking the dog, whatever it may be. I know it seems basic but having these conversations outlines each persons expectations and will reduce arguments going forward.
And thirdly, if this past year has taught us anything its that things can change very quickly. This lockdown may have an end in sight but its not the first one we have had and who really knows if it will be the last. So take some time to think about how you have responded to this past year and think about what you would do differently. Reflect and learn what you can from it as it will help prepare you for whatever the future holds.
On a final side note, please respect that everyone has different opinions on the virus and the politics that surround it. It will no doubt still be the talk of your work when your back, the pub or the hairdressers for many months to come. Be kind and remember that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, the same as you are entitled to yours.
If your relationship is struggling as a result of lockdown or the added pressure of working from home or you would like more information on how RRR can help you, then message or call on the following details; 07715 397 942 / julieann@relationshipsandrecovery.com
JulieAnn Wellness Therapies 